December 3, 2017 by kira a. gold

Chanel No. 5

*Mini Chanel bottle in the center of a fuchsia daisy.*

Chanel No. 5 is the most famous fragrance of the world, and for good reason.
No other perfume manages to be such a combination of opposites–clean yet filthy, powdery but also syrupy, delicate and heavy, soothing yet provocative, mature but gamine–all at the same time.

The 80’s eau de parfum splashes on with soapy peaches, juicy but aldehydic, and starchy boned lingerie falling to the floor, in a release of structure giving way to voluptuousness.
The flowers in the middle blend to effervescent floral cordial, chased by a Southern Comfort base–smooth woody whisky sweetened by vanilla.

I love it, but I’m no Marilyn Monroe, and this one takes a hefty pair to pull off. (I was 16 when it came out, and Lady Stetson was a bit more my speed.)
Wear with a corset and no shame.

Edit – 7/9/21.

Perfume in time of COVID-19:
Out of curiosity, I sniffed my mini bottle yesterday, and it smelled like mustard.
Today it smells like nothing at all.

The guy asked, “What texture should we have for dinner tonight?” (Flavorless potato chips are very strange!)
I’m sure I’ll be okay–I’ve been double vaxxed–so hopefully this will pass soon.

This song also came out in 1986. Madonna was our Marilyn back then.

November 22, 2017 by kira a. gold

Cherry Bomb

*Bottle with cute cherry back-printed label, brown branding and a silver tall top, on it’s side.*

TokyoMilk #05 touts Wild Rose, Osmanthus Chocolate and Vetiver, and while it’s not the pits, it does fizzle out pretty quickly.

The fragrance sprays on like the waxy chocolate one dips fruit in on Valentine’s Day–then turns into a sporty woody rose for a few minutes and is gone.
Nice, but too pricey for zero longevity.
I also bought the candle, which sadly smokes like a chimney, but makes absolutely divine furniture polish–my cherry wood table perfumes the room when the sun shines on it.

Edit – 2/27/22

Lasts longer in spring, with more herbal apricot than in my autumn test–or maybe the juice has ripened a bit over the past 5 years–but still doesn’t set off any fireworks.

*Just blown out TokyoMilk candle, tin lid with cherry label, and yellow chamois cloth on a wood table.*

November 19, 2017 by kira a. gold

Passion

*Gold capped Annick Goutal ridged melon bottle with amber eau, and a gold ribbon holding the wreath tag.*

This woman pops a cream candy in her mouth while coolly walking away from the burning house behind her.
I’m scared of her, but I want to be her friend.

Edit – 9/12/21

(From my rescued-from-the-back-of-the-closet collection.)

The first bite is a fancy floral sweet mess of tuberose and jasmine, milky white marbled with green, that melts into ylang-ylang with a verdant pop of tomato leaf. The herbal sweetness has a minty vibe, echoed again on the bottom by the patchouli and vanilla.
The oak-moss at the base anchors us firmly in the 80’s racks of the consignment shop–patterned silk dresses and art-house punk jackets. (A good place to find a vintage bottle–they can still be found at reasonable prices–though it’s still in production.)

Cheerful and clever, in a movie-heroine-gets-her-revenge-in-the-end-while-smoking-a-menthol way, but I never really took to it.
I’ll pass it on to my friend who can quote Heathers word for word.

The amazing Chaka Khan came out with Ain’t Nobody in 1983.
I’m feeling this updated cover today.

October 14, 2017 by kira a. gold

Au Masculin Eau de Minuit

*Iconic Lolita Lempicka Au Masculin tree trunk shaped bottle in dark green, and black licorice twists.*

(I swear I don’t have daddy issues.)

Edit – 2/9/2023

I still wear this when I take myself out to the movies.

Opens with a bag of black licorice Twizzlers and a Coke with the good ice–casual and sweet, like Minuit Noir but in jeans and t-shirt–and stays politely at the edge of personal space for a long matinee. Lingers with unassuming wood through the evening, and ends with a jubilant spin-out of tires à la Bvlgari Black.

Hard to find, but worth every penny, even if one is usually a cheap date.

September 28, 2017 by kira a. gold

Opium

Sexy Grandma.

Normally I dislike the “old lady” ageist cliche of describing vintage perfume–but my grandmother actually wore this, and damn if she wasn’t the swimsuit model at the pool in her retirement home’s brochure.

And I’m going to be that guy too, and complain that ~ThEy DoN’t MaKe It LiKe ThEy UsEd To~ but the original was much sweeter, with big banging cloves at the top sweetened by peaches and plums, and a resinous dry-down held in place with charred wood.

The 2009 version still has the carnation and myrrh at the center, but her rockin’ bottom has grown a bit soft, droopy amber patchouli and vanilla with no verve, rather than rounded out with sandalwood, cinnamon and incense.

If you need a hit of classic eighties balsamic spice, grab a vintage bottle–and pair with a pussy-bow shirt belted over culottes.

Opium came out in 1977, the same year Al Stewart’s Year of the Cat hit the charts.