A dentist’s office–kid’s fruity toothpaste, floral hand sanitizer, fish tank salt, vague panic and rubber soled shoes.
Gets a bit into the face and lasts as long as that smooth feeling on the incisors after a polishing.
This is the second time I’ve thought, “Maybe I won’t bother trying the new Nest when it comes out.”
I think I’ll go floss my molars now.
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My dentist pipes in “Hits of the Seventies.”
Y’know the skanky convenience store two blocks down, that has as much lampwork glass paraphernalia as munchie snacks on the shelves, and sells the best cheap vanilla incense anywhere?
The guy at the counter is fat and comfy with some nice swagger, and if you’re a regular he’ll give you a zip-lock bag of the green with your $50 roll of Butter-Rum LifeSavers.
Stunned is stunning.
Funky, verdant, sweet, resinous, and joyful.
Goes on with a draw of labdanum smoke, then exhales long–with sticky cannabis cupcake frosting and relaxing cloves–in personal space for most of the evening. You wake in the morning with a smudge of sugary patchouli on the skin, and only a vague idea of what actually happened the night before.
I love that Bel Rebel didn’t go the haute couture route that Florabotanica did–here they embrace messy weed culture full on, with head-shop cliches, creosote smeared bongs and gooey candy excess.
Medical card not required.
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Half the price of Tom Ford’s Tobacco Vanille–and smells like it.
Edit – 3/5/23
Less a jazz club and more a seedy casino that hasn’t had the upholstery changed since before the indoor smoking ban and serves cheap house bourbon. The gift shop sells chocolate covered mint cream candies that actually aren’t bad.
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Ms Ella F., at a club in Berlin, messes up the lyrics and turns it into one of the best jazz improv moments ever.
A fun and inexpensive vampy amber floral–
I love the big citrus champagne opening, fresh and flirty, though I wish it lasted longer before dissolving into the pink flowers. The vanilla at the bottom stays close to the skin for most of the day, with faint patchi amber an inch above.
There’s a joyful retro feel that makes me think of secondhand shoppes that cater to drag royalty and couture collectors, and sell Pop Rocks and Lemonhead candy at the register.
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This one was a hit in France in 2009, too.
A sweet cheapie that works hard at school and doesn’t make their parents nervous–
Cheerful pear and vanilla with a touch of floral woods to keep it from turning into melted ice cream.
Reasonable performance and would pair well with any off-the-shelf hair product in existence.
For Ages 13 and up.
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I’m really enjoying Moschino’s aesthetic right now–check out this new collection, upbeat campy fun that couldn’t give a flying fuck about binary gender expectations.
Planningtorock’s electropop “Girl You’ve Got My Heart” was used in Moschino’s wonderfully inclusive 2022 Spring-Summer walk, but “Much To Touch” is my favorite.
This is so marvelously intriguing–a simple white floral that’s really a James Bond femme fatale in disguise.
Comes in with a big hello of jasmine to the entire room, begging questions at social distance–Is that violet? patchouli? heliotrope? cigarette ash?–then winks with a smirk, because no, they’re actually almonds and cashmere musk being clever.
Vanilla and sandalwood leave long trails in personal space like theme songs that get stuck in the head for hours and hours.
Bold and smart, and not as sweet as first impressions might give.
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A 007 twist that makes Katy Perry’s classic intriguing again–(I adore PMJ.)
I needed a bit of sun today, and this little beauty gives big powdery vanilla amber warmth with just one drop. (Really, just one–this stuff gives off melting honey rose trails a mile long.)
Sandalwood and cinnamon on the bottom keeps the marzipan-ish heliotrope from getting sticky, and adds some maturity to the vanilla.
Lasts all afternoon and through the night on clothes, leaving sweet spice dust behind like footprints in the snow.
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Stay warm, yeah?
Demeter’s New Baby is an oddly exact mix of milky vanilla, mineral oil and powder that starts with a shriek, but soon settles to cuddle space with sleepy lemon curd.
Comparing it to the source material was fun but a bit startling. The lactonic notes–almost animalic–are very similar, and there is a definitely a sugar cookie thing going on, especially on the top of their little head. (Apparently there are Scientific Reasons why newborns smell so sweet.)
I’m not so sure how the lemon pie on the bottom relates, but it’s a nicer sour than burpings.
Very sniffable, but wearing it might require your own car-seat and diaper bag.
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Yep, I’m gonna be this this grandma.
Rich honey rose and vanilla incense, roughed up with some crushed herbs–as if Amouage Fate and Absolue Pour Le Soir met for antipasti before a fancy event–then skipped it and went for bezoin ice cream and meaningful conversation instead.
I don’t often think of perfume as an accompaniment to food–but this would be amazing on a romantic dinner date.
Leans more toward silk neckties than chiffon scarves, and lasts long into the night.
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Another gentlemanly rose–
Alejandro Rose-Garcia goes by Shakey Graves when he’s not acting.
Wish is that loud-laughter bombshell at the holiday bash in a lurex dress and even cheaper lipstick, who gets sticky caramel everywhere and is the absolute life of the party.
Fruity vanilla, syrupy honey florals, and soft toffee woods, in a big fun mess with zero chill.
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Another awesomely messy holiday wish-
kira a. gold 