American Cream

Pale yellow filled small bottle in a wood display box at the nearest LUSH store–the furthest I’ve ventured from home in an entire year.

American Cream smells like Demeter Fragrance Library got stoned and went to a Ben&Jerry’s.

Scoops of strawberry vanilla with honey drizzle, and light herbal funk.
Not the highest you’ve been, but a long-lasting buzz.

Puff, puff, give.

*

One of the sweetest slow jams ever.

Le Petit

Full sized (almost empty) Tokyomilk bottle with two sided label of a nest with speckled egg floating above.

TokyoMilk #02

Proceed with caution–
One light spritz gets you powder and cute plastic toys and baby hair–sweet with innocent violets and melting ice cream–all day long.
Two full sprays gets you a spanking by sticky artificial vanillin, itchy rubber pants, and a bath.

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I adore this sweet little tune, off a children’s album by the same guy who did Lump and Peaches–

Dolce Vita

Ceylon cinnamon and my ancient bottle of Dolce Vita.

I feel a lot of kinship with Dolce Vita.
She tries really hard to be that spicy peach tart who likes a good cinnamon roll (and a little sugar in her bowl…) but can’t quite get the pieces together enough to pull off the whole outfit.

The ingredients are all there–juicy ripe fruits at the beginning, spicy vamp seduction in center, and lingering vanilla woods at the end–but the top is too young, the skirt too brash, the shoes too cute.

I keep trying it, hoping somehow she might have gotten over the awkward stage and come into her own, but in thirty years all that’s changed is that the gold leaf has flaked off the bottle.
Me too, Dolce Vita. Me too.

*

This song came out 90 years ago and is still one of the filthiest songs ever recorded.

Velvet Orchid

Flocked faux flower (Say that three times fast!) and a mini purple bottle of Velvet Orchid.

Another olfactory pun by Tom Ford… fake flowers indeed.

I get a nice light orange honey out of the bottle that slowly turns purple–grape juice dye no. 69, lolly-sweet–and a huge mixed bouquet of gorgeous flowers, that weirdly smells more and more plastic the closer it gets to the skin.
Several hours later the blooms fade to faux suede–is it the labdanum that gives a slight chemical smoke?–and vanilla with a resin wood base, that last all night long.

I’m not sure how I feel about it.
It’s lovely from a distance, but Velvet Orchid costs a lot of money for a bunch of artificial flowers, and the concept of “tacky couture” can seem elitist and absurd.

*

This is how you do absurd right.

Splendida Tubereuse Mystique

Cobalt blue Bvlgari mini, and tea-leaf reading cup that sadly has no perfume bottle symbol.

Opens with an elegant brew of smoky tea, black currant and the same lemon creme I get from Teazzurra, but with an herbal bite, like it’s laced with wormwood.

The tuberose drifts in slowly, as if the sugar wasn’t stirred in and gets stronger and sweeter and prettier with each sip.
Lasts for hours, held just above the wrist with vanilla and enigmatic resin.

Perfect for modern mages and fashionable fortune tellers.

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I love this French cover of INXS’s Mystify–

Bee

Pave bee pin, locally harvested honeycomb and decant vial, with test paper cutout of Zoologist Bee bottle.

This one is gorgeous: beeswax comb filled with vanilla and flower nectar and a bit of tonka that manages to come across as animalic, and so incredibly sweet you expect it to be sticky on the skin. The heliotrope–which I’ve not been a fan of lately–gives nice structure to the benzoin, and a lovely powder dryness to the honey-syrup.

There’s a brilliant smudge of labdanum on the bottom, a perfect hint of beekeeper’s smoke. Fills the room like a summer swarm and lasts forever.

I loved it passionately until the guy said it reminds him of that scented toilet paper from the ’70’s and now that’s all I smell and I’m so sad about it.

*

This one is as sweet as the perfume–

Relax

Lollia No. 8

A bit alcoholic out of the bottle, then dries down to lavender and vanilla with some honey amber. Stays close to the skin for several hours, and leaves soft floral dust on the clothes.

It’s actually quite soothing–I might try it as a pillow scent–and the bottle is adorable.

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Waiting on election results today. I need all the soothing I can get.