This smells like your car after you’ve had it detailed because the neighbor kid puked Olive Garden all over the back seat.
Lavender and orange oil solvent.
Windex and mint. A little lime and some hopeful sandalwood.
But it just can’t disguise the vomit.
(This is how to cover a song.) (Contains no barfing.)
A 4711 Acqua Colonia mini that didn’t come with the sampler set, but I had to have anyway because give-me-all-the-matching-things.
Nice fresh squirt-in-your-eye grapefruit and peppery bite that slowly fades to brisk rose on the skin. I like the masculine zing–this one has a bit of a bristly mustache.
I’ve always loved this weirdo group, though I did squirm a bit when my mum asked me the name of the band playing on my “pick-me-up playlist.”
More from the 4711 sample set of Acqua Colonia minis.
This one hits the sinuses like a cough drop, then sweetens to Italian ice. The ginger doesn’t have much of a bite, but it pushes the lemon out of cleanser territory and into soda-pop.
Lasts a perky half hour.
I’d love it as iced tea, too.
This song is the best of all lemons, ever.
We’re talking candied sour-puss citrus, sweetheart squirt-in-the-eye, twisted-tart fruit goodness.
Another enjoyable and unpretentious 4711 Acqua Colonia that lasts only minutes–as it’s meant to.
A vodka splash opening that immediately warms up with the saffron, then eases into a flowery-herbal tonic water.
There’s earthy powdery feel at the bottom that I would enjoy on a guy, too.
I went looking for the “I’m just mad about Saffron” song by Donovan, and stumbled onto this little gem.
I got a sample set of 4711 Acqua Colonia and I’m having so much fun with these clever and quick little splashes–I grew up on the original.
This one is bright–a soap-bubble pop of herbal cleansing that finishes with brisk citrus.
The basil sticks pleasantly to cotton for several hours after the orange is long gone.
More Blood Orange pleasant herbal-pop cleverness–
Opens feminine, ylang-ylang sweet prom corsage, then nutmeg and carnation bouquets–
–but after an hour it turns masculine. Pepper and cloves dirty up the soapy pinks and give it bite, close to the skin, for another hour.
It’s suave and sporty, in a summer afternoon crisp linen shirt kind of way.
I love this wistful summery afternoon song– this February has been dull and gray here.
Orange pith and herbs, and quick.
Opens sharp and citrusy with woody ginger. Softens with some jasmine and a breath of amber, then vetiver lingers on the bottom for a few seconds.
Definitely a cologne–it’s gone in a hot second and for the cost, 4711’s Acqua Colonias might be a better deal.
Here’s some more oranges.
Opens with a big splash of blood orange juice that softens down to ginger-ale zing, then settles to soft wet musk on the skin for a few hours.
There’s a slight note of feet on the bottom that wants to be warm woods, but doesn’t have the right balance.
This one teeters between nice and meh for me–a sportsball guy could pull this off better than I could.
You can’t beat the original, but this cover of Sade’s Paradise roughs it up on the edges in a good way.
Ginger and peppercorns that sweeten to ground spices, powdered cardamom and nutmeg, drier than dry toast, to the point that it makes me thirsty–almost itchy.
Half an hour in, the almonds warm up, and it gets creamier. A bit of floral musk makes it more palatable, and then the dry down is lovely, sandalwood with a hint of sweetness.
Stays politely in personal space for most of the day. Pair with a two liter drinking bottle.
The same lemon and white musk, but all the sharp herbs and incense smoke make it oversexed.
The glory of the female version, and why it’s such a powerhouse, is the ace quality that strips away any overt gendered invitation.
So by omitting all the sweet notes, the masculine edition just becomes another passive aggressive drink garnish at the patio bar.
Kanye West put out Stronger the same year. It was both as synthetic and popular.