Weirdly virginal.
Candied lily-of-the-valley and jasmine scented laundry starch that fades to an inch off the skin in fifteen minutes.
Sadly, I get none of the skank vibes the ad copy boasts.
Author: kira a. gold
JV x NJ
This smells like your car after you’ve had it detailed because the neighbor kid puked Olive Garden all over the back seat.
It tries.
Lavender and orange oil solvent.
Windex and mint. A little lime and some hopeful sandalwood.
But it just can’t disguise the vomit.
(This is how to cover a song.) (Contains no barfing.)
Emelia
This comes out of the bottle like a shaken Orangina. Sugary tangerine and fig nectar, with a hit of creamy green that turns to sweet white flowers.
It’s got a fresh 4711 vibe, only sweeter, and lasts twice as long–which means about half an hour. I’d hose myself down with this in summer.
Omnia Pink Sapphire
A wincing blast of Ruby Red pink grapefruit out of the bottle that dries down to really lovely peaches sweetened with frangipani.
The musk on the bottom has some heat, a peppery note with the sandalwood, but with hard edges.
It’s got nice facets, but kind of jumbled–and the middle notes that I love last less than 20 minutes on me.
From Under the Pink.
Kenzo World Eau de Toilette
Nivea skin cream.
It’s nice, but the flashback to all my mid-eighties high school angst hit me like a slap, and I swear my face broke out in sympathetic second puberty.
Peony and pear on top, orris root and Duran Duran on the bottom.
High school in the mid-eighties was horrible, but the music was fantastic.
Pink Pepper & Grapefruit
A 4711 Acqua Colonia mini that didn’t come with the sampler set, but I had to have anyway because give-me-all-the-matching-things.
Nice fresh squirt-in-your-eye grapefruit and peppery bite that slowly fades to brisk rose on the skin. I like the masculine zing–this one has a bit of a bristly mustache.
*
More pepper. (Like the cologne, the original is better, but sometimes it’s fun to mix things up a little.)
Be Tempted
Berries, licorice, patchouli and vanilla.
This is DKNY’s version of Angel Eau Sucree, sadly without the tawdry lace underwear.
It’s too clean, too cute–stripped of the dirty punchline it just giggles rather than giving a seductive wink.
Sticks to the skin for the first half of the evening, but not the clothes.
Be Tempted can only wish it were this tempting.
Sage Spell
Green bank lollipops, grubby herbs and pale wet patchouli.
A twinkly high school boy could pull this one off well, but not me.
Nick Cave is so marvelously angsty.
Spell is my favorite from The Lyre of Orpheus, the mellower “side B” of this double album.
Sì
I got this at Åhlens in Stockholm, a blind buy based on the (unusually talkative for a Swede) saleswoman’s advice–and I love this stuff.
It’s like VS Strawberries & Champagne finally old enough to drink, Chevaux d’Or without the gold plating, or Sadanne after moving to Milan.
Black currant wine cork pop at the beginning, then jammy roses that bloom on the clothes for hours. Woody vanilla, with enough patchouli to give it a smirk, stays close to the skin all day.
Fruity sweet, a little powdery, but with a bite and effortlessly stylish.
Chatty Swedish sales lady nailed it.
This hit came out of Italy in 2013 as well, also stylish and interesting.
Poppy & Barley
Sweet yet somehow dusty–pleasant for dry autumn days, and Jane Austen novels.
A wake-up splash of sweet whiskey mash with some soft fruit, then calms down to an easy earthy floral a few inches above the skin for half an hour.
Slowly fades to sheer musk with a hint of ripening grain.
Comparing it to the source (I cook with barley in the winter, so I had some on hand) was fun–I could definitely find the powdery sweetness of the kernels.
Love this instrumental on an old classic–
kira a. gold 